


Capsize

by EmilyBea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 19:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15468093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyBea/pseuds/EmilyBea
Summary: AU oneshot where Killian was in the navy and he meets Emma in a bar on his last day of leave. They fall in love in one night but he had to ship back overseas the next day. Months later when he’s finally been discharged he comes back for her, and, low and behold, she has a surprise for him. Filled with fluff and prompted as a part of my collection of 'Mixtape' chapters on FF.





	Capsize

**_A/N: Hey everyone! I know it has been a long time since I published a oneshot, but with my other two stories happening at the same time, I’ve been a little all over the place. This chapter is based on a number of prompts for more stories with Killian in the military, but there was one of you who was pretty specific. I have decided to run with that request. Meanwhile the song inspiration for the title comes from ‘Capsize’ by Frenship and Emily Warren. Hope you all enjoy and thanks so much for reading!_ **

Standing at the processing bay at the naval base in Washington, Killian Jones had never felt more on edge.

He was a SEAL, a fighter through and through, and a sailor with the self-composure to go into enemy territory without blinking an eye. Killian had seen war up close and personal for the past ten years, and his life had been dangerously close to ending more times than he could count, but none of it compared to this moment. Waiting for the bloody paperwork to go through so he could get on to his forever was like diving into bitter cold ocean water only to learn your air tank was running low. It was maddening and overwhelming. The time seemed endless, and it honestly felt like some kind of torture.

It shouldn’t be this difficult to get them checked out of the damn service. He’d filled out all the forms and David had too, but this woman – Captain Regina Mills – was taking her sweet time processing their request. This should be more straight forward: their tours were done, they should get to go home, but until that final stamp of approval was granted, he was still a SEAL and still beholden to rules. Until he received this confirmation he still belonged in many ways to the United States of America, and for what he had planned he needed freedom, and he needed it now.

“Well, Lieutenant Jones, Lieutenant Nolan, it seems everything is in order,” Captain Mills said, barely smiling. She was so severe and serious, but then again so were many of the other captains they’d served along the way. Killian didn’t know how they did it. He’d hate to be so rigid and conforming. It had always been the hardest part of his life as a SEAL.

“So we’re good to go then?” David asked, putting into words Killian’s own hopes while already forsaking the formality of military life. Captain Mills looked amused at the lapse, but Killian didn’t know if it was genuine or not.

“You are. You have both officially been honorably discharged from the United States Navy. We appreciate your service.” 

“Thank you, Ma’am,” they said in complete synchronization, saluting the captain, even if their time was done, before turning and walking out back into the balmy summer day. 

“I can’t believe we finally did it, man – it’s all over,” David exclaimed, his grin as happy as Killian had ever seen it. “Sure you don’t want to go back for another round?”

The question from David was clearly a joke. The only reason David had even served another tour at all was because he needed a bit more money for the ‘castle’ he was aiming to buy his high school sweetheart, Mary Margaret. The two of them were already married, and at their last check in back on the ship Mary Margaret had given David some news that couldn’t wait – she was pregnant. It had happened during their leave three months ago and David was the happiest man in the whole damn world.

“No. I would never do that now. I can’t,” Killian said, his tone harsher than David deserved, but his friend took it like a champ.

“Ah right. Because _you_ have to get the girl. Mr. ‘Marriage-Is-A-Construct’ finally found his one. God it almost brings a tear to my eyes.”

“You want to make it back to your wife in one piece, mate? Because I can arrange an alternative,” Killian said, glaring at David with his best ‘do not fuck with me’ face, which irritatingly only made David smile more.

“All right, all right I surrender. No more jokes,” David promised as he swung his duffle into the back of the truck with Killian and then got in the driver’s seat to start them on their journey home. It was too much, however, to expect silence from his friend for a whole ten hours. After all, David and Mary Margaret were a perfect couple. They were both good, and loyal, and kind, but they were also nosey and opinionated, and they never could seem to drop a topic of intrigue when they thought they were helping a friend.

“I know Emma’s different,” David said, talking over the radio Killian had tried to put on for distraction’s sake. Killian’s jaw ticked and his arms crossed over his chest, but David was undeterred. “Even if it was only one night, I know you love her.”

Killian didn’t know if it was the mention of his love that caused the slam in his chest or if it was just her name. Truth be told, the mere thought of Emma had the possibility to light up any kind of darkness. She was this impossibly remarkable thing in a world that had so little beauty or hope. She’d been a life raft for Killian when he didn’t even realize he was drowning, and an anchor when his ship was lost at sea. It defied explanation. A complete stranger that he met in a bar shouldn’t be able to affect him like that, but one smile from Emma – along with one silken, throaty chuckle when she found his ‘charm’ to be over the top – had trapped him. He was hers from the very start, and leaving her the next day had been the worst damn pain he’d ever known.

“If you know then why do you keep going on about it?”

“Because I want you to admit it,” David said with a laugh. “And because I’m damn well entitled. You gave me hell when I found Mary Margaret. HELL. It’s my turn to do the same.”

“I don’t care what you do to me, David. I only care that I find her.”

This announcement prompted a bellowing laugh from David, an honest to goodness laugh that shook his friend so much Killian almost wondered if he’d pull over the car to keep from crashing. It was so loud that it startled Killian, and he watched as tears streamed down his friend’s face and he wiped them away, still laughing. Finally David got himself together enough to motion to the glove compartment. Killian assumed he wanted tissues or a Xanax or something, since he was clearly unhinged, but instead there was a file with a name – Emma Swan.

“You didn’t really think I’d let us retire without already having found her for you did you?” David asked, laughter still teasing at the corner of his eyes as he shook his head at the very idea.

“But how did you – when did you -,” 

“I borrowed a computer while you were in your one-on-one,” David said with a shrug. “Then I paid a new recruit to drop what I found off in the truck once it all printed. 

“You _borrowed_ it?” Killian echoed. “Or you commandeered it?” 

“Eh, same thing. It took a minute, but I found her. Hell I got everything about her that I could, including the fact that she’s still there. She never left Boston.”

“She didn’t?” Killian said, shocked to find that out. During their night together, Emma had confessed that she was a runner. She preferred a life of constant moving, and she’d already been in the city for a few months. She was planning to leave within the week, now he had to wonder what had changed her mind? 

“Nope. She moved to a new apartment though. Probably for the best you didn’t mail those letters. She didn’t list a forwarding address with the post office.”

The mention of the letters that Killian had written every day for the past few months was slightly embarrassing. He had thought he was discrete enough to not have drawn anyone’s attention, but when he considered it, it made sense that David would put the pieces together. There was no one in Killian’s life from outside of the military, so there was no real reason for him to be writing anyone. A few times they’d been out on mission, with barely any time for sleep and Killian had tried to write a few lines in secret, but he supposed that would be the kind of thing David would hone in on. Especially since he was so fixated on Killian’s potential future.

“You realize you’re going to have to stop digging like this now that we’re out in the real world again, right?”

“Hmm,” David said, in what Killian had come to learn was a far from affirmative answer. “So you gonna read it, or just stare at it a while?”

“I don’t know,” Killian answered honestly.

On the one hand he wanted to know every last detail of Emma’s life, but on the other hand it felt wrong to learn it this way. What he wanted most of all was time with her, because time would allow them the chance to grow the connection that had formed in an instant months before. Reading this would take away some of that magic, and Killian was torn about what he should do. Should he give in to his craving to know her? Or should he wait and hope that she’d let him in enough to see all that lay beneath the surface?

“Just open it." 

Killian complied with David’s request and he found two things at the top of the pile: a recent picture of Emma and her new address. Perfect.

“I figured you might not actually want the other stuff, so I condensed what was needed right on top.” 

“And the rest of this is just what? Blank pages?”

“Nope,” David said before chuckling to himself as he continued to watch the road. “Those are Mary Margaret’s contribution.”

Curiosity got the better of Killian and he flipped through to see that David’s wife had, quite literally, gone off the deep end with this compilation. Page after page was filled with ideas and requests and hopes for Killian and Emma. There were recommendations for the perfect first date, anniversary ideas, potential wedding venues, and even a list of the top 100 most underrated baby names. There was enough here to map out an entire life for Killian and Emma, or at least the next fifty or so years.

“I’m sorry, are these retirement villages?” Killian asked, his shock and dismay no doubt evident from his tone. 

“Yeah I told her that might be a bit much,” David replied. Killian turned to his friend and arched a brow as if to silently say that every damn part of this was ‘a bit much.’ “But it made her happy, and with the baby coming, I couldn’t very well say no, could I?” 

“You two are unbelievable,” Killian said, shaking his head even as laughter built in his chest. He supposed it could be worse after all: his friends could be trying to stop him from pursuing this. They could judge him for caring as much about Emma as he did so swiftly. But no, David and Mary Margaret were completely on board with all of his plans, and they clearly had ideas of their own that they were only too glad to offer. 

“It was going to be thicker, but then I told her you already had a ring and so she cut back.” 

The mention of the ring he had in his pocket prompted Killian to pull it out. There was no point hiding it, not when David already knew all about it, and he wanted to see it again. It was his grandmother’s ring once upon a time, passed down to his mother and then to him. The center stone was an opulent sapphire, and the surrounding diamonds sparkled in the sunlight. It was elegant and classic, a cut above what the average SEAL could afford, but where Killian knew it was objectively beautiful, he doubted any ring could be worthy of Emma.

“So when do you think you’ll ask her?” David questioned, breaking Killian’s trance.

“When she’s ready,” Killian responded resolutely. 

“Can you wait that long?” Good question.

“I can damn well try.”

For the rest of the long hours up the coast, Killian continued to think on what exactly the future might look like with Emma, especially when they were first reunited. In his heart, he knew that the connection they shared had to mean something. It was too sure and too strong, even if it was only one night, for this to be some fleeting, one time thing. In fact, Killian couldn’t conceive of it as anything but a life-long love, but getting Emma to see that may very well be a battle. He’d been gone for months and they’d left things hanging in that time. 

They hadn’t spoken since the morning that he headed back to the ship, much to Killian’s dismay, and he didn’t know if Emma would be open to him now even though his heart had always been wherever she was. He might have to prove himself to her, but though it would be hard, Killian was ready. Whatever it took to have Emma in his life, he would do. If there were trials that needed facing or paces he was put through to show how serious he was, he was fine with that. The only thing he wouldn’t negotiate on was _when_ to find her again. He had to see her as soon as he could, and he was so desperate to lay eyes on her again that he asked David to drop him off at Emma’s place instead of his own.

“I already had it in the GPS,” David said gleefully. “And don’t worry. Mary Margaret and I will hold onto your stuff until you’re ready.”

Killian thanked David and soon after that they pulled up before her apartment. But it wasn’t until he was out of the car and David’s red truck was heading down the street that Killian considered how big a step this was. Showing up at her door out of the blue was a risk to be sure. Would it scare her away? Was he making a mistake? Killian didn’t know, but he couldn’t keep himself from trying all the same. He made his way to her door, glad that a neighbor was heading out at the same time that he was trying to get inside. He moved up the stairs to the floor where Emma’s address claimed she’d be, and then he was there, standing at her front door, and at the precipice of the rest of his life. He hesitated only a moment before knocking soundly.

Though it only took a few more seconds for the door to swing open, it felt damn near a lifetime to Killian. Waiting even a little bit felt like more than he could bear after countless nights spent wishing he was with her again. But in the moment when he saw Emma, standing there before him looking just as beautiful as in his dreams, he finally felt like he was home again. Nothing had been right or made sense without her, and it didn’t matter to Killian that that feeling was crazy. He didn’t need time to know what was right for him, and Emma Swan was everything that could possibly be right in the world.

“Killian, when did you… I mean how did you…” her words trailed off as her eyes filled with tears as her hands reached out for him. “You came back.” 

It seemed that she couldn’t believe her eyes in this moment, and like her relief was overwhelming her. His heart clutched tightly in his chest at the sight of her tears. God he wished he’d found a way to know where she was all this time. He never dreamed that she’d be worried for him or missing him as badly as he missed her, but her expression was undeniable. As deep as he was in his love for her, Emma was feeling just as much, and she’d faced his months away with probably just as much pain and sorrow as he had. 

“Aye, love, I did. I’m home now - home for good – and I’m not going anywhere.”

_Not without you._ He left those words unsaid, but no sooner had he made his promise to stay than she was leaping into his arms, hugging him in a way that lacked reserve or any kind of hiding. The feel of her in his arms was all too much and yet not enough, and so he pulled back only to kiss her and revel in the feeling of tasting the woman he loved again. It had been touch and go before, but he’d made it, and he’d be a damn fool if he let another second go by without showing her how much she meant to him.

“I can’t lie, Swan, it makes me damn glad that you’re not pushing me away right now,” he said when they came back up for air and Emma pulled him inside her apartment, keeping hold of him as she shut the door and then led him inside.

“I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again,” Emma confessed, her eyes casting downwards. A heartbreaking sadness returned to her features and it struck Killian so forcefully that he would give anything to ease her suffering. Killian brought his hand to cup her cheek, and she looked back up at him before continuing on. “I was so scared for you. I know we only had one night together, but -,"

“But it was a hell of a night,” he whispered causing Emma to smile and shake her head even though he knew that she agreed. She’d told him at their first meeting that he was cocky and that she wasn’t into guys with huge egos, but soon enough she’d realized that for Killian it was all in jest. He might play the suave, collected type, but underneath he was just a man, a man who loved her more than anything. “Look, Emma, I promised you when we met that I’d be honest and so I think there’s something I should tell you.”

“I have something to tell you too,” Emma said, sounding a bit panicked, but Killian only shook his head and brought her hands up to kiss one by one.

“Let me say this first love, before I lose my nerve. I know to everyone else it probably seems like we barely know each other. They’ll say that there’s no way to be certain, or that one night is too soon to fall this hard and this surely, but I know differently. I know that you’re the best woman I’ve ever met, that you’re brilliant, and beautiful, and perfect, and I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know every other part of what makes you you.” 

Killian watched as his words washed over Emma, and the restlessness that she’d exhibited moments ago melted away. She looked desperate to hear everything and the more he said the happier she became. She was holding back still, not letting herself totally cave to hope quite yet, but he was certain that despite everything, she was ready to hear all that he felt.

“I love you, Emma. I think it started the very moment I saw you, but in one night you ran away with my heart completely. Leaving you…” his voice broke from the emotion and only Emma’s hands running over him in silent pleading could keep him on the track of his confession. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and all I could think while I was gone was that I had to get back to you. Truth be told, you saved me out there, Emma, more times than I care to admit. Knowing you were here, knowing our story had only just begun, it was enough to get me through. And I know you probably don’t feel the same quite yet. I know it’s crazy, and maybe you need time but -,”

“I don’t,” Emma said, interrupting his nervous babbling. “I don’t need time. I feel the same way.”  
  
“You do?” Killian asked, elated as his arms tightened around her and Emma nodded, happy tears forming as she smiled up at him. Still he needed to hear it. He was desperate for those three little words, and she must have known it because she offered them up so beautifully.

“I love you, Killian. And I’m really, really glad you love me too, because that night brought us more than just each other.”

“I know, Swan. It brought a beginning, a happy beginning that we’re starting right now. I want all of it with you Emma. Dating, living together, marriage, the works. I want to start a family together, Swan, the kind neither of us ever had,” her eyes grew wide at how quickly he was going, and he laughed, knowing she wasn’t going to run even if he had stunned her. “But more than anything I want a life – _our_ life together. I just want what you want, whatever that might be.”

“Well about that… there’s some parts of your dream that have kind of already started,” Emma said, bringing his hand over her stomach where he noticed a small bump that hadn’t been there before. It took a moment, but when he realized what she was saying his throat closed up and his own eyes grew misty. Could this really be his life? Could he really be this lucky?

“You’re pregnant?” Killian whispered in awe and Emma nodded, prompting him to pull her in for another kiss.

The celebration in this embrace was tangible as their hands roamed and the two of them arched for closeness. His need for Emma gripped at him like a fever, and he couldn’t wrap his head around just how wonderful this news was. Whatever came next, he would thank God every day of his life that he had the chance at all of this with Emma. He would never deserve her, but he would work day in and day out to be better for her and for their family. Somehow he’d be enough for her and for them, but first there was something he needed her to know.

“We’re getting married,” Killian proclaimed as they broke apart from the kiss.

“We are?” Emma asked, looking amused through the lust and love that colored her green eyes. 

“Yes. You can have whatever you want for a wedding, Swan. I’ll make you’re every dream come true, but you _will_ marry me.”

“You’re not even going to ask?” Emma said with a laugh and Killian shook his head. 

“Can’t risk you saying no,” he said, as if that were explanation enough, but then he pulled the ring he’d been carrying with him from his back pocket and he slipped it on her finger.

“Well you may not be asking, but my answer is the same,” Emma said, grinning wildly as she looked from her new ring back up to him. “Yes, Killian Jones, I will marry you.”

And with that promise, the two of them started their wonderful new life together, knowing that while their story might be unusual, it was as beautiful and unique as their love was for each other.

………………

_Up at night I'm awake cause it haunts me_  
That I never got to say what I wanted  
Oh my God, oh my God  
I’m not the same as I was with you  
I would jump out my skin just to get you  
Oh my God, oh my God

_How could you have ever known  
If I never let it show, now I just wanna know are you?_

_I'm fine_  
Drop tears in the morning  
Give in to the lonely  
Here it comes with no warning  
I capsize, I'm first in the water  
Too close to the bottom  
I'm right back where I started  
Said I'm fine

_Your silhouette is burned in my memory_  
Rubble left from the moment that you left me  
Oh my God, oh my God  
And three words have never come easy  
Cause you're more than they ever could be  
Oh my God, oh my God

_How could you have ever known  
If I never let it show, now I just wanna know are you?_

_I'm fine_  
Drop tears in the morning  
Give in to the lonely  
Here it comes with no warning  
I capsize, I'm first in the water  
Too close to the bottom  
I'm right back where I started  
Said I'm fine

_I'm swimming up against the tide_  
Oh my god  
I'm swimming but I'm getting tired  
Oh my god  
I'm swimming up against the tide  
Oh my god  
I'm swimming but I'm getting tired  
Oh my god 

_I'm fine_  
Drop tears in the morning  
Give in to the lonely  
Here it comes with no warning  
I capsize, I'm first in the water  
Too close to the bottom  
I'm right back where I started  
Said I'm fine

_I think about you, love you, and I'm filled with pride_

**_Post-Note: So after so much time away from the mixtape I am really glad to get to put this out there. I had all of these lofty goals of trying to get through all of my prompts during my summer vacation… oh how naïve I have been. Between two other multi-chapters, my summer research, and the fact that my awesome readers sent me more than ten prompts since summer started, I haven’t made the actual progress that I wanted. That being said, more will be coming (it will take a while again, sorry guys) and I want to thank you all for reading and I hope that you enjoyed!_ **


End file.
